i’m learning to love again and be better for the new hand i’m holding. i hope things are just as grand as you presumed they’d be and i hope i get better. i hope i stop shoving you and your memory down because i’m so afraid of you coming back up to haunt me. i’d kill to see the clearest day where i can visit an old memory of ours in our city without shaking with nerves and the overwhelming feeling of guilt or anxiety. i love you so dearly, you have always meant universes and beyond to me. i used to feel such oddity without you, even this long after you’ve been gone but it’s disappearing, i’m starting to understand and accept. i have a new love, one that takes care of me and i of he. and now i only think about you when i am alone. i pray to the skies that you’re blooming and flourishing the way you deserve to be. i don’t know who in the skies is listening, but i hope they are. to the skies i whisper, not to a god; whoever is listening. anyone listening.